Day 37: Hum Ko Malum Hai

Movie: Jaan-E-Mann (2006)
Song(s): Hum Ko Malum Hai
Music Director: Anu Malik
Lyrics: Gulzar
Singers: Sonu Niggam, Sadhana Sargam
Actors (in the song): Salman Khan, Preity Zinta.

(This song is on this list for the sheer ridiculousness of it. Yes, I am in that mood! 😀 😀 😀 )

Go over the credits again. Yes, Gulzar and Anu Malik. Yes. Yes. I had a shock the first time I saw that as well. But honestly, listen to the song, and tell me if the following is not something that ran through your mind.

The antara and the mukhda are written by two different people. There is no way those that really promising opening lines into “Mom maani nahi, dad naaraaz tha, meri barbadiyon ka wo aaghaz tha, ishq ka ek hi ek andaaz tha“. Really. What were you thinking o you God of words!

Moving on, at 8.34 this song is really long, I won’t blame you if you feel it’s the entire movie in there. Because it really is. Part of being a Salman fan is watching movies like these. And Main Aur Mrs. Khanna. Though I understand that Shirish Kunder had noble ideas and planned to turn this into a musical-type of thing (Farah Khan almost succeeds), you really cannot take this love story seriously.

If I remember correctly, this movie had the costliest trailer ever, I have no clue why. If you’re planning to watch this movie: let me warn you, Anupam Kher is a midgety-dwarf. And a bad one at that. I have no clue what this movie aimed to do. Also spoiler alert, there is is Preity Zinta look alike called Preity Zintakova.

The biggest surprise though is Akshay Kumar. He did this movie and then went on to do Joker with Shirish Kunder. What were you think of boss?! Was one movie not good enough for you?!

Watch the video here (take ten minutes out to gape at it):


Day 9: East Or West/ Tan Tana Tan Tan Tan Tara/ Oonchi Hain Building

Movie: Judwaa (1997)
Song(s): East or West/Tan Tana Tan Tan Tan Tara/ Oonchi Hain Building
Music Director: Anu Malik
Lyrics: Dev Kohli
Singers: Anu Malik/Abhijeet, Poornima/Anu Malik, Poornima
Actors (in the song): Salman Khan, Karishma Kapoor, Rambha.

Remember this movie? Based on a plot that is thinner than paper (twins having no control over their actions and moving as the dominant one does), with songs by Anu Malik that can at the best be described as stupid.

Why are there three songs you ask? A cousin suggested I include the song “East or West India is the Best” in my list. While watching the video, I realised the three most popular songs from this movie fall under the same category! Inane lyrics, silly reading (not singing) by Anu Malik, Salman Khan dancing in his very own style while the others have no clue about what’s happening in the movie or their life!

However cringe-worthy they may be currently, that’s the music that dominated the Hindi film industry throughout the 90s. There is no doubt that they’re extremely entertaining, but really, what were they thinking?! This may be just be me, but I think the back up dancers to the lead actor were so much more fun to watch then than the current ones!

Also, what work did the lyricist do – something something “waah waah”-repeat 8 times and move to chorus. Tan tana tan tan tan tara (!) East or West (Yo!) India is the Best (Yo!) – his contribution being the word “yo!” What is your inspiration, Sir?

“East or West” might have been intended as a tribute to India and it’s people, but it just ends up being a cariacature-ish representation of people. Though, it’s worth watching the video for Salman’s weird dance steps that have rap in the middle and portions so small that I wonder how they were shot. Three-four second scenes? But nothing beats the lyrics. For example:

Birla Tata Waa Waa,
Yahan Ka Aata Waa Waa,
Jooton Mein Bata Waa Waa,
Ladki Ka Chaata Waa Waa.

Funnily enough, Bata is not even an Indian company. -_-

You can watch the video here (Don’t miss the other videos below this):

Let’s move to the second song. What should I say about this song that I haven’t about the previous one? It’s not Anu Malik but Abhijeet who’s singing. Everything else is the same. Exactly the same description. Sample this:

Samajh na mujhko aisa waisa,
Mere batue mein hain paisa,
Tujhe khilaunga main jee bhar ke,
Garam Samosa Idli-yaan Dosa.

You can watch the video here (Don’t miss the other video below this):

Coming to the third song, it’s a cult in itself. It acts as an illustration on how normal conversational sentences can be turned into a song. You need no lyrics! And ditto as the first, by the way.

Tu aage aage main peechein peechein,
Ho chumbak ke tarah mujhko tu kheenchein,
Kaha jaa raha hain ankhiyon ko meechein,
Michael ke cycle ke aayega neechein.

You can watch the video here: