Let’s Work!

It’s not that I don’t like to write anymore. My problem is that I cannot handle who sees my content.

Writing on a public platform or even being on a social network presumes that you are making your life public. Facets of your life that you would like people to see and some that you wouldn’t.

I think I Overthink Stat 3

If you’re reading me from South Africa, you need to say “Aye” in the comments section. I’d really really like to get to know you!

When the time came to pen my musings, silly stories, and random tall-tales, the blog was the best medium to me. First, because well, it’s a diary. A diary I can share with people and a repository for me to get back to later in life. When I first started blogging, I was around 18, and this was my main aim.

Then I grew up, and my reason for blogging was to indulge in a different kind of network, the one of blogger friends. A lot of my friends blog much more successfully than I do; the point of this network is to encourage each other and write.

In my very honest opinion, the value of the written word, though always on the wane, has never been lower than now. In the words of my dad “Who reads your blog? Your friends? Family? What value do your train stories add to someone’s life?” SO honestly, why on earth will anyone in their right minds want to read what I have to say about  nonsensical events. Who am I?

This is when the real questions started being asked. Do I want to be ‘someone’? Someone who is read and followed? Someone with an interesting life that people with “lives” would want to read. Did I want to be the person whose personal life would interest people? Can there, realistically, be a division between the private and the public life? The answer, unfortunately for me, was a BIG FAT NO.

So at this crossroad, last year, I decided to de-personalise (not a word, I know. Thank you). My blogging was mainly about books and songs; activities I went overboard with over bored myself. Couldn’t resist.

However, my blog stats were at an all time high, people were talking, I was having fun… well sort of. Most importantly, I set an achievable target for someone who was even a little more motivated and disciplined than I. That’s where I failed.

Blog stats now.

Blog stats now.

I started experimenting with teaching early this year. It’s been a bumpy ride. More so thanks to social media and the multiple ways to peep into people’s lives.

After my first week, I had 25 new hits on my blog. This was something I had resigned to. Everyone wants to know what kind of a teacher they’re being dished out. What I did not expect were the hits that were bringing these people to my blog. Questions I knew were coming from my students because they were related to the little personal details I gave out in class.

I could either reconcile myself to the fact that this is where the dual personality had to be shed off or, like any sane person, I would turn my blog private. I chose to stop blogging.

I am not the first person with privacy concerns. I know that, believe me, I do. But my problems don’t seem smaller because everyone faces them. They’re just as terrifying and bothersome.

I decided that I could be “true” to my blog only when I was myself, and not the persona I was putting out in class. Like a dear student told me the other day, I am a youngish-short-woman in a field where your personality is the biggest driving force. How could I be a teacher when my students saw me as one of them?

I had to end the silly-person-with-a-lot-of-tangents-in-her-head image. Probably the truest I would be in public. Truer than my intellectual-reader-with-a-goofy-side image from facebook and more than my holier-than-thou-extremely-organised-teacher image. I am not those people.

Oh well.

Oh well.

Slowly, the key-words getting people to my blog started to change. It’s silly now, but less personal. I’d like to think it’s mostly because I have a more balanced approach to my class now, but it’s not true. It’s probably the lack of interest in a blog that has been discarded for a full year.

I didn’t do my year-end note last year. Something everyone near and dear to me asked about. Something I absolutely love doing. All because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to add to this space anymore. Because I have no clue where to draw the line.

I’ve decided to blog anyway.

I think I Overthink MailI’ve decided to blog because the number of people reading my posts hasn’t diminished. I’ve decided to blog because a man took the pains to write to me from Pakistan saying he liked what I wrote as a teenager. I’ve decided to blog because well, I miss writing.

Hope you find the will to come back to me and work with me!


Troubling Twenties

Something we’ve all been through and still are. Follow the girl, she makes a lot of sense.

Troubling Twenties.

The New Year!

Happy New Year!
Hope you have lots of fun this year.
Now let’s get to the news: I’ve taken up a challenge this year. Unlike my very straightforward, SAVE MONEY, this year’s resolution is to READ MORE. And if that sounds vague then here goes what I’ve planned:

  1.  I’ll read a book a week and post what I thought of it here every weekend.
  2.  I’ve a rough list ready of what I have to read and then I just go with the flow.
  3.  I’m not doing book reviews. They take effort and time. I’ll give my opinion, hopefully with no spoilers! If you want reviews for books, go to Bookhad. 
  4. The second part of this resolution/challenge is the fact that I keep posting here. The blog has regular posts too, or so I hope!
Easy peasy?
I’ve had only four days with Book #1 of this year. SO the opinion should be up by tomorrow. Also, this is not an exercise into reading more because I don’t read much now; this is because I want to read more and barely make any time for it at all!
I’m making a list of all the books I want to read, if you’ve an input or something you absolutely want me to read (fiction, non-fiction, comics, picture books), I’m open to knocking off a few from my list!

PS. Check out the absolutely awesome Aamil here. He’s doing a book challenge of 130 books this year. He’ll do one every 3 days. Or so he thinks!

Let’s Just Reboot?

This blog was previously Silhouette-de-la-vie. It was the silhouettes in life. That was the phase of life I was in, I think, when I started this blog. A little unsure of my stand in a lot of issues and very confused on what I wanted to do in life.
It’s different now. Or at least I hope so. After more than a year long break from this space, I am back here. But nothing here seems like an extension of me anymore. That feeling of disbelief that it could have been me who so effortlessly wrote things that people laughed and bothered to read? In spite of having scores of options to choose from, they chose to read what I wrote! That feeling was nice, and I will not flatter myself. It took effort to pen down thoughts for all to read but things changed along the way.
I was a 19 year old student of Journalism at the time and looked at life as well as the people in it differently then. You are welcome to read all the posts before this one. There aren’t many anyway!
However, the 22 year old me, is quite drastically different. I cringe at some of the stuff I wrote and wonder how on earth did people have the patience to read through all that! And then I realise, I have some really nice friends who read what I had to say.
If you have been a friend of this blog and made an effort to keep in touch with all the madness I posted here, I am eternally grateful to you. However, the silhouettes now have some more light in them and are sharply defined for me.
Hence here’s the new name and new design of this blog. This one is closer to me at this stage of my life than the previous one. I hope you put up with the change. There might be another change if I feel like it soon.
Nevertheless, I am just as goofy as clumsy and as perceptive (I hope J) as I was before. Some things never change, eh?
So I hope to be more regular with this blog than I ever was with Silhouettes and I hope you enjoy this process of me thinking aloud as much as I love typing it out. Good feedback is welcome. Bad feedback will be welcomed with aarti ki thaali and chaawal ka kalash.. 😉

PS. There will be two posts today, I think! Let’s just reboot!! 

Growing up in the New Year!

So for two Sundays now, I’ve been on a shelf cleaning spree, and there are quite a few revelations and other secrets! J

First of all, it’s the New Year, and I hope to give my abandoned blog a bit more time and attention along with some not-so-serious content.
For all of those who don’t know (Coz almost everyone on FB does) I went to the Veer Jijamata Udyan and Prani Sangrahalay (Byculla Zoo), Nehru Science Center and Nariman Point yesterday along with some friends. So just out of nowhere, it rang true somewhere that I’m growing old!
Now, before you start talking to me about Olay and its wonders, I’ll tell you a few facts. I have parents who’ve roamed with me a lot, I am to turn 20 in April, and I’ve worked a lot in a field that gets me roaming. So? So, I obviously get nostalgic at places and reminisce about them to others. Why is it so strong now, I wondered? And it was pretty simple, roaming with friends who don’t really roam much, and cleaning a shelf are two things that’ll always remind me what I was.
I’m having that phase now!
I found those wonderful things that we called “notes” in school, but were actually chits that you pass around when the lectures are on in a book. Tucked away in a corner of my shelf, that treasure trove almost made me cry, because they had everything! The flavour, joys, fear, fun of school! They had small scribbling, letters to god knows who! References to weird names we kept for people, flowers between my pages, a chocolate wrapper, a locked diary, a slam book with “Never forget me” notes from people whose faces I can’t even place now.
I messaged a friend, who asked me to bring it along the next time we meet so that we’d have a “laugh”….I doubt that a lot, because whenever I see those or any photographs from school, I think of the girl in braces who was the know-it-all grandmother, little-miss-two-goody-shoes who had no time for behind the back talks but felt on the top of the world when she’d read newspapers to the assembly.
I miss those days. And more so, because that treasure trove can’t be recreated! I don’t have a single similar “note” from college, because we have cell phones to pass on messages! And I hate that. It good to have those little bits of papers that remind you of a different world in a different time.Highlight of the trove: A drawing that proclaims me to be “Miss World 2000” 😀

The one in the middle is me, 10th standard farewell at school! 🙂

Then there are those that make you wonder if you were the one who even wrote those! Like a “Who am I?” 500 piece article that I wrote for my 1st assignment in BMM, it makes me cringe in embarrassment and shudder to think of what would people think if they read it now!
Finally, came the killer of them all yesterday, when while passing Currey Road station I screamed out, “I used to take that bridge to office”, and later in the day, “That’s where my dad used to bring us for ice-creams”, or “When I was younger, that was my hang out spot”. Yes, all of those people with me thought of me as a grandmother. They always have.
I wonder which is worse, to have seen so much at an age when everyone is just discovering, or to have seen nothing and remain oblivious to all the wonders that I’ve already seen, and act as a chaperone to others.
Either way, I feel old. Suddenly. And I am to turn 20. No, this isn’t a run up to my birthday. But just wondering, if I’ll ever stop missing the 10 year old or 15 year old me, who’re probably eons away from the 19 year old me.
It’s New Year now. 2011. And we’ve left behind another year, another trove of memories. And I know, 2 years down the line, I am going to miss all of this! J
Happy New Year…