Here Goes Nothing…

Ahem. I am going to blog like nothing happened. Let’s ignore the last year when I completely gave up on writing. Ok? OKAY.

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“Oh God Why Me?”

I turned another year older last month. Honestly, I cannot pinpoint to anything that’s changed in the last year. The last few years though? A LOT.

Responsibility comes with age, said my school teacher. Ya, right.

I cannot for the life of me point to one phase of my life where I didn’t feel that I wasn’t surrounded by kids. Too many negatives in that sentence. Basically, I’ve always felt like I was surrounded by immature kids who could do with some growing up.

Which gets me to my current phase in life.

I don’t blog as frequently as I used to at one point. I take on more work than what I can humanely accomplish. Which leads to muddled up deadlines and a lot of apologies. Much like the kids in my class.

See, there? I am actually growing more rash, as I grow up.

One might argue, that growing up is actually about taking calculated risks. But really, I am too much of a scared kitten for it to apply to me.

SO what are the risks I have taken in the last few years? Let’s see…

  1. I decided to let go of a career I dreamt of having since I was a kid. Sigh. (The sting never leaves, does it?)
  2. I have decided to get totally disconnected to any mainstream news and pop shows. (Still getting there!)
  3. I decided to be a teacher. (This is not funny.)

I put myself up for scrutiny every day. Every single day. The fellow teachers, the snotty 17-year-olds who cannot even cook their own food, the neighbours, the friends. Everyone judges me, because I am a teacher.

And no, this isn’t the snide, oh-you-must-be-teaching-because-you-can’t-do-anything-else kind of judging. That I can deal with. It’s the career-advice and job-accomplishments type of judging. Big deal, you say?

“Everyone gets that!”

NOT really.

You see, the problem is this: Not all of us might ever have dealt with a civil engineer. Not all of us know exactly what a doctor does. Nobody wants to know what an architect does. Or even a designer for that matter. None of us have a clue what CAs do! But here’s the thing, every single one of us, has had a teacher. Probably for an extended period of time. This, apparently, qualifies all and sundry to tell me how to do my job.

Now here’s the thing, I am new to this job. I never professionally trained to be a teacher. But I am one. And if I need advice, I’d rather go to someone who is a teacher rather than ask you, Madame and Monsieur Randome. You, who were teachers for one glorious day in 10th standard when you lorded over a bunch of 10-year-olds.

Also, everyone who is a teacher has only one advice for everyone else. You learn on the job! You’ve no clue what a class will be like unless you’re there – experiencing that hate emanate from a multitude of sources. Hate, or awe. There is never an understanding or appreciation for what you do, in my very vast experience. Kidding.

There’s a silent understanding – ‘I will behave. Hence, it is my right to demand that you end the class 10 minutes earlier than scheduled.’

I get this, and I do this; because even if I may be this young-ish teacher who is still figuring out how to carry on talking when a 100 faces are furiously stabbing at their iphones; I was on the other side of the table just a few moments ago. And while I demanded of my teachers to be a little more considerate towards me, a person balancing her education and a job, I think I can extend the same courtesy to my kids.

Moral of the story? As I grow another year older, I’ve realised educating someone isn’t entirely my cup of tea. Not yet at least. I will probably need advice. Not yours, though. Maybe advice from the people I am trying to learn with. My students.

PS. This birthday bought some awesome gifts. That deserves its own post! 😀

Au revoir, Montréal!

This post was written on my phone at Montreal airport when waiting in the long queues for check-in and then security. However, due to some reason, it just got saved in my drafts and never got posted! So, though it is late, here’s my farewell note. 

P.S. If you find it soppy, it is because I did cry at the airport. I didn’t bawl, but I cried a little. :’)

An hour away from going back home, I think I should say my farewell before it’s too late. I will miss you Montreal.

I will miss smiling at random strangers and exclaiming “Bonjour!” every time a person initiates conversation. Quickly followed by “ça va bien?”DSC_0067

I will miss the extra fifteen minutes every morning in leaving the house to check the weather and dressing appropriately.

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I will miss seeing snow. And miss being frustrated by snow!

I will miss your abundant statues on every corner.

I will miss the culture of get-your-food-to-your-workplace instead of eat out everyday.

I will miss the love and care of the people who were absolute strangers to me 60 days back.

I will miss the Metro with it’s complications in ticket fares and a distinct odour that reminded me of hot water pouring on plastic.

I will miss the breathtaking scenes of the city from Mont Royal.

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I will miss being aloof and lost in my own world because I never understood what people around me were speaking.

I will miss the music and the art that thrives on your street.

I will miss the curiosity of people on what I was doing in a Francophone University with no knowledge of French and immediately helping me out with directions and making sure I was absolutely comfortable.

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I will miss you streets full of graffiti and even mundane walls being turned into pieces of art.

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I will miss the labyrinth  that is UQAM and finally giving up and starting all over again by going down to the Metro.

I will miss the chocolate vending machines that were just enough to give me energy but not too much to give me a sugar high.

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I will miss the friends I made.

I will miss the people I met.

But most of all, I will miss you Montreal. The city that’s my first home away from home. The first time living alone. The first of many experiences I had here. And no city could have been more perfect or more welcoming. Thank you!

A bientôt Montreal! 🙂

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It’s been a year since this blog was started. A year and one day. And there’ve been 12 posts since, or so blogger tells me. Things have changed since this blog started, I think and post now or rather think more and post. Maybe that’s why I blog so little. An average of one post per month is rather horrible. And blaming writer’s block too isn’t the solution.
So I guess I’ll do what I promised myself when I started this. Write about whatever I think and do. Interesting, funny or otherwise. Hopefully this 2nd year is a lot more fruitful and creative in terms of what I write. But then, thanks for reading me! J And for commenting on what little I put up! J


There won’t be a barrage of posts now, but certainly no drought either! Hopefully this stays on!

That’s a random image I came across on google images when I 1st started this blog, it isn’t me and isn’t mine either!

Growing up in the New Year!

So for two Sundays now, I’ve been on a shelf cleaning spree, and there are quite a few revelations and other secrets! J

First of all, it’s the New Year, and I hope to give my abandoned blog a bit more time and attention along with some not-so-serious content.
For all of those who don’t know (Coz almost everyone on FB does) I went to the Veer Jijamata Udyan and Prani Sangrahalay (Byculla Zoo), Nehru Science Center and Nariman Point yesterday along with some friends. So just out of nowhere, it rang true somewhere that I’m growing old!
Now, before you start talking to me about Olay and its wonders, I’ll tell you a few facts. I have parents who’ve roamed with me a lot, I am to turn 20 in April, and I’ve worked a lot in a field that gets me roaming. So? So, I obviously get nostalgic at places and reminisce about them to others. Why is it so strong now, I wondered? And it was pretty simple, roaming with friends who don’t really roam much, and cleaning a shelf are two things that’ll always remind me what I was.
I’m having that phase now!
I found those wonderful things that we called “notes” in school, but were actually chits that you pass around when the lectures are on in a book. Tucked away in a corner of my shelf, that treasure trove almost made me cry, because they had everything! The flavour, joys, fear, fun of school! They had small scribbling, letters to god knows who! References to weird names we kept for people, flowers between my pages, a chocolate wrapper, a locked diary, a slam book with “Never forget me” notes from people whose faces I can’t even place now.
I messaged a friend, who asked me to bring it along the next time we meet so that we’d have a “laugh”….I doubt that a lot, because whenever I see those or any photographs from school, I think of the girl in braces who was the know-it-all grandmother, little-miss-two-goody-shoes who had no time for behind the back talks but felt on the top of the world when she’d read newspapers to the assembly.
I miss those days. And more so, because that treasure trove can’t be recreated! I don’t have a single similar “note” from college, because we have cell phones to pass on messages! And I hate that. It good to have those little bits of papers that remind you of a different world in a different time.Highlight of the trove: A drawing that proclaims me to be “Miss World 2000” 😀


The one in the middle is me, 10th standard farewell at school! 🙂

Then there are those that make you wonder if you were the one who even wrote those! Like a “Who am I?” 500 piece article that I wrote for my 1st assignment in BMM, it makes me cringe in embarrassment and shudder to think of what would people think if they read it now!
Finally, came the killer of them all yesterday, when while passing Currey Road station I screamed out, “I used to take that bridge to office”, and later in the day, “That’s where my dad used to bring us for ice-creams”, or “When I was younger, that was my hang out spot”. Yes, all of those people with me thought of me as a grandmother. They always have.
I wonder which is worse, to have seen so much at an age when everyone is just discovering, or to have seen nothing and remain oblivious to all the wonders that I’ve already seen, and act as a chaperone to others.
Either way, I feel old. Suddenly. And I am to turn 20. No, this isn’t a run up to my birthday. But just wondering, if I’ll ever stop missing the 10 year old or 15 year old me, who’re probably eons away from the 19 year old me.
It’s New Year now. 2011. And we’ve left behind another year, another trove of memories. And I know, 2 years down the line, I am going to miss all of this! J
Happy New Year…

Those people I call friends! ^_^

Sometimes, you interpret some things differently than what people mean, at other times, its bang on target! So here is a small interpretation of what my friends do…as in, in terms of giving me meaningful looks, and how I interpret it! J In some cases it might also be what they think of when they see me!
Some are plain dumb…others…well have a read! J


School Friends:

Aarti: *Kaha mar gayi tu?*
Swati: *Alle mela bachcha*
Alok: *Oh! Aa gayi! Never on time!* (Note: This might repeat more often than not!)
Akshay: *Kabhi to badal!*
Aparna: *Aaaahhh!*
Amar: *YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ME* (Same as above note!)
Lavanya: *Ye pagal ho gayi hain*
Pratik: *I don’t care*
Pallav: *You seem to amaze me always*
Ketan: *Vedi*
Manasi: *Mandd!*
Building Friends:

Aditya: *Take care!*
Varun: *Aa gayi chatramkali chipkali*
Nirav: *Shock*
Mayur: *Recipe chor!*
Anish: *Kya paka rahi hain!*
Abhilasha: *Aaja behena!*
College friends:

Kavya: *Iske pairon mein pakka chakke lage hain!* (Chakke=wheels!)
Suchi: *Hi janamli ka?!*
Pallavi: *Kyun paka rahi hain!*
Ushma: * You never have the time for me*
Rashmi: *Why are you not a TamBrahm?* / *Oh! Aa gayi! Never on time!*
Deepa: *Take a breath!*
Madhumita: *Take a breath!*
Aakansha: *Oye bore*
Tamanna: *Aaja hug karein!*
Uttaresh: *Kya paka rahi hain!*
Kartik: *Kya paka rahi hain!*
Bhagyesh: *Oh! Aa gayi! Never on time!*
Apoorva: *Yes no yes no yes no*
Tulsi: *Here comes the madwoman!*
Lekha: *Mumma*
Zameer: *You’ve a boring life*
Kautuk: *You’re not supposed to know what he means*
Ajinkya: *Pagal aurat*
Falguni: *Babe grow up*
Naveen: *Faad de*
Miscellaneous Friends (This includes friends whom I met online, who belong to some list somewhere, people I’ve met once or twice, at competitions, random places or never!)


Gautam: *You always/never/always/never/always/never understand me*
Siddhi: *YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ME*
Sudhamshu: *You never remember what I say* (Another way of saying: *YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ME*)
Suraksha: *KK didi!* 😛
Shreyas: *When will this kid grow up!*
Varun: *How did this blonde come to be my friend!*
Devanjan: *Aa gayi pakane*
Shweta: *YOU NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ME*
Shibani: *Aye maaydam!*
Sanket: *Stupid female with no sense*
Bala: *Aye!*
Mrugesh: *Will you EVER have the time?*

I think a lot of other people are supposed to be on this list, but at this point of time I can only remember so many! J
So to all my friends here and to all others too, I hope you had a nice friendship’s day, and that our friendship goes beyond these “days” and the bands and the marks by the marker! 🙂

Some friends, go beyond the obvious silhouettes, others, just remain in those dark lines…wherever you are…welcome to my life! 🙂

Silhouette of the past…

The week, was turbulent. To say the least. It had everything that would make a movie. It had tears, it had sickness. It had friends getting back, it had lectures going wrong. It had a trek, it had a train adventure. It had rains, it had brain washing. To top it all, the next one begins with a bandh. Omen. I say.

But then, I learnt a lot of things.

My friendships depend on technology. Time I accepted it. One day I decide to reduce FB usage and remove my SMS scheme, the next day, I exist in a void. Sad. But it is time I accepted it.

My health is the only thing that would get me grey hair! I am sure of that. Totally! When will it stop shocking me? No idea. What to do to make it better? No idea!

I fought. With everyone. Was rude. To everyone. Fought with everyone. And then, by the end of the week, realised there’s a hole somewhere. Inside me. So….now I am on a sorry exercise! Apologising to people…to all…I am sorry. I was being a nut. Now…I think I will get back to normal.

Lectures. HAVE  to be recorded! Or, at least, I should have the strength to stay awake through them!

It had a trek…I beautiful one at that too! Thanks Adit, Nirav, Mayur, Varun, Shraddha, Prachi and Roopa for taking me along! The SVPT fellows, have a nice group, and taking me in, is my luck! Seeing the city, emerging from between the clouds, is an experience in itself. Disneyland like! And the peace and the tranquillity! Cannot be described by me! The best part, was the descent though. While listening to “Baahon ke Darmiyam”, my favourite song! And obviously…the rang badloo titli! Guess I should do this often, it puts sense back to me.



And the train thing. I was stupid! Landed up at Nerul instead of Vashi! That’s something now! Being such a seasoned traveller, that mistake was unforgivable! And well, the 3rd umbrella of the season. Gone with the wind!

Rains=peace! And, a lot of introspection that always end in tears! But they’re great! Always. Period. I love it when the background music to my dreams is the rhythmic rain drops! It is…a cuddly season! Thank god I have a chotu pillow! J

Brainwashing. By me. To everyone. That I am bad. And by everyone. That yes, I am. Sigh! I guess, I am being too anti social these days! Time to get back to normal?Hope not. But yes, I will try to strike an equilibrium!
Why did I write this down? To clear things for me, has it cleared? Only time will tell!

P.S. Sid…I am looking forward to the “date” with you.

Silhouettes in my life…a week that is now a silhouette…will soon be a shadow…of the past.

My Silhouette de la vie…

My attempt at expressing through poetry!

It was a silent night,

Quite unlike the ones in Mumbai,
The day was ours,
And probably every one knew…

It wasn’t tiredness,

Nor the need for our space,
We sat on the dewy grass,
Because we wanted to…

With eyes that saw beyond you,

And those fingers entwined,
I felt scared till the time,
I realized, you are truly mine…

Leaving behind the fear of loss,

In the yearning to be just yours,
Even the moon seemed close by,
I felt so divine…

From playing on those swings,

To walking early mornings,
Being there to giggle at couples,
The park took an all-new meaning…

It now means company,

One, which I can’t ever deny,
After the days’ work,
For a quick hug and a glance…

Sitting there on the park bench,

Flanked by the flickering lamplight,
We grew,
More content and even more secure…

Of a future I think not,

Of the past I care not,
It’s the way you make me feel now,
That makes you my Silhouette de la vie…